why paganism?

So what in the world is possessing me (hee hee possessing...) me to start on the path to paganism?

Don't you ever wonder whats out there? Don't you ever feel like the world you know might be bigger than you think it is? Ever get the feeling that your just getting it wrong?

Well even if you hadn't this is where my journey starts. When I was young I went to a strict, strict church. Girls needed to have long hair and dresses to their ankles. Television was a sin dancing is wrong ect ect... My grandfather and mother never attended but every one else in my family did.

We had a tv and everyone knew it. People left us alone though because my great grandparents gave the church thousands every year. If something was wrong did money make it right?
 I'd sit in Sunday school and listen to the gossip about the new girl who wore the same dress every week and who wore jeans to school and wonder if this was how we were supposed to act. And i could put a thousand little things like this here. Yes, I know, that's not a reason to switch religions It was however what got me thinking.

As I got older more and more of the religion didn't make sense but as I approached my teens my family had passed away and I was in foster care so I delved into the faith with a blind recklessness because it was the only thing familiar to me.

As an adult I became married into a catholic family but they were the non practicing type. They called themselves catholic but weren't really. He was very abusive and when I left him i recieved a lot of criticism from the Christian and catholic community about it. I was told I was a sinner for leaving and I should go back to him. I know also not a reason but another thing that made me question.

And years later I remarried. All these questions have come to a head and I've started to question my beliefs about God and religion. The nature of God and man and their relationship. The bible and what's in it and I finally just got to the understanding that I don't believe in the bible or Christianity.

So what do I believe?